Local Scooter Gawd

Here is a site dedicated to local scooterman Andrew. Upon load, you'll be greeted by the sounds of a Stephen Wolf midi. He has owned two of these mean machines in his driving career. The first was a 93 Honda Dio (seen to the right). However, he got into a major accident and lost his muffler and warped his back wheel.

Undeterred by his sprained ankle, Andrew got back to riding. Ignoring pleas from friends and family, Andrew stayed true to the rebellious scooter lifestyle. He went a head and upgraded to an 83 Honda Elite, which sported a more powerful engine. The control panel was reminiscent of the Starship Enterprise's control deck.

Andrew goes on to write about a friend named Todd who takes public transit to school everyday. Andrew mocked Todd openly for taking the 130 Metrotown bus and referred to him as a loser for doing so. Which makes me believe that scooter enthusiasts are pretentious and ignorant of other forms of transportation. Nevertheless, Andrew seems like a cool guy. ANDREW! Rock on bud.

Your Tranformer Name

My Transform name is Decpicon. What is yours?

http://www.coldhardslag.com/tfname

Klingons

I found this on the internet one day. Below is a Star Trek themed Christmas card someone had made up. Instead it should read, "Merry Christmas and a Hycrudoo Krsackkec." *tsk*tsk*

Here is a website with a few Klingon phrases. One of them is "paQled yIghuH," which means "Nerd Alert." I'm still not quite sure if that phrase has a negative connotation. Nerd Alert -- is that a complement or what?

Other one is "VorSagh yISop ej bIhegh SoSnagh wI’," which has an English translation of "Eat shit and die mother- fucker." Apparently, that expression originated from the squalors of a major Klingon metropolis. Young, displaced Klingon youths would chant this before shooting up a decrepit mud hut dwelling with their plasma rifles. All while driving by in their low gravity spacecrafts.

I Hate Huckabees but loves Team America: Fuck Yeah!

I Hate Huckabees. I give it 4 Walmart stores of 10. Nothing made sense. The whole movie was a blur. I don't think I remember any of it. The movie didn't have a happy or a sad story line; just a mindless, boring story.

I mildly enjoyed Team America: Fuck Yeah! It wasn't the RHINO-EKRHΞH of GALA I was expecting, but it was okay for a few laughs. Recurring jokes are supposed to be based on mathematics and God's, evolutionary, aligned geometry of the universe. However, some of the jokes in this movie were overused by just a Smigel. Long enough for me to question the comedic genius of Tray Parker and Matt Stone. Nevertheless, I did enjoy the movie for its TV grade comedy. It's worth seeing for a few Smiggles. I don't think it's worth the price of admission. The cost of watching movies these days are outrageous. To compensate for the cost sometimes, I Smiggle my own popcorn and drinks into the theatre. I give this movie, 6 milk cartons out of 10.

My Blog if it was written by Snoop *Paaace out*

Click here to see the Snoopified version of my blog.

News - Man Mistakenly Cuts off Penis

This not made up! Follow this link for the original source! Thank to Jon for finding me this story. Our heart goes out to Mr. Constantin Mocanu. *Jim kisses index&middle fingers on right hand, and points to god*

-Jim

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Romanian mistakenly cuts off penis, dog eats it
04 Oct 2004 13:52:15 GMT, Source: Reuters, BUCHAREST, Oct 4 (Reuters)

A elderly Romanian man mistook his penis for a chicken's neck, cut it off and his dog rushed up and ate it, the state Rompres news agency said on Monday.

It said 67 year-old Constantin Mocanu, from a village near the southeastern town of Galati, rushed out into his yard in his underwear to kill a noisy chicken keeping him awake at night.
"I confused it with the chicken's neck," Mocanu, who was admitted to the emergency hospital in Galati, was quoted as saying. "I cut it ... and the dog rushed and ate it."

Doctors said the man, who was brought in by an ambulance bleeding heavily, was now out of danger.

Fav TV shows from the '80s

Remember shows like Owl TV, Reading Rainbow, The Odyssey, Square One TV, The Edison Twins, an Strawberry Shortcake?
here is an on going list of shows I like.

Soo Funny. She eats the neon line.

Harriet's Magic Hat was the best. You put on a hat and you get transported anywhere.

Jimmy's Drunken STUPOR

It was September 24, 2004 and it was Karey's Birthday. Neera introduced to me Mr. Vodka. Unfortunately, Mr. Vodka had the best of me. Within minutes, I was under the controlled of a foreign force. My speech became slurred and inaudible by those around me. I began doing things I don’t normal do; of which, I am not able to recall.

We were able to get in for free using the night club’s express lane. The tix we got said on them that we would get VIP access before 11pm. When we got there at 10:55, the doorman was like, “Sorry guys, those are tickets are only good ‘till 10:45.” But Neera’s sister was able to convince them to let us in!

There was couple there, Karmen and John. I was chattin’ it up John – guy stuff. I think Karmen thought I was making advances at John; which I was not!

At one point, Karmen tried getting in between John and I. She told us, “That’s enough! Its time for you to go Jimmy!” I was shocked Karmen was so up front. But I acceded to her demands and gave up control of John.

In this picture below, it looks like I’m smothering this poor lady to death – Krystal. Also it looks like, Mandi is telling me to lay off her, and Mark giving the camera the “What the hell is he doing” look.

In actual reality, we were all merely dancing. The DJ started to play Lets Get Retarded by the Black Eye Peas. We all went ape shit and I began dancing like a un-neutered baboon. Mandi was singing “Lets get it starrrrted” and Krystal was dancing as well. Mark on the other hand, just lost his Pokémon backpack and was on verge of tears.

You’ve got the pokey, and you’ve got the Mon….. Pokey….MON! *nuck nuck nuck*

BCIT's Free BBQ and Concert

It was the first week back from school, and there was this free BBQ. When I got there, all they had were hotdogs, pop, and popcorn. So I got a hotdog and went back again in line, and ate my dog while waiting in line. I think I did that three times before I was full. Here is Nick below taking advantage of the hot dogs.

After my massive hot dog feast, it was time for some tunes. The headliner of this free concert was this pop-punk band called Exit This Side from North Vancouver. They're a great band. Opening for Exit This Side was some dingus, who I will call Gomer. I've seen him play functions at BCIT before. I think he is either a staff or student.

Well anyways, there was this huge crowd for the free food and pop. But that soon changed when this Gomer walked on stage. He started off his set with a poorly done rendition of Are You Gonna Go My Way by Lenny Kravitz. Then he dipped into Red Red Wine by UB40 (red red wine you make me feel so fine). I became overwhelmed with flash backs from grade 7 dances. I had a sudden urge to put on doc martens and a silk shirt, and end my sarcastic comments with NOT!

As you can see in this next picture, NO ONE WAS WATCHING! Good job Gomer. Not only did I feel sorry for the few who stood around to listen to this guy, I also felt sorry for the next band -- Exit This Side. They did not deserve this.

Ryan however loved the Gomer! What the hell is wrong with you bud? You've gotta get your head checked.

All this bad music is making me hungry again. As I turn around to survey the hot dog situation, I spotted Dan Caetano and Tarek Elneweihi from Exit This Side. Not only did they consume all the hot dogs on the table, they were strategically planning to over throw the king of the stage by pelting him with the remaining hotdog weenies.

As we looked upon the stage from a safe distance, I could not help but wonder what if Exit This Side was to have played first? Would they have more than their manager sitting in the front row?

Food Review - Sevy Elevy Combo Deals

When you're dining on a budget, you don't have to sacrifice taste and selection. Vancouver is filled with places you can go to eat when you are broke... err I mean... financially conscious. Take for example Taco Time; today Mike and I had two tacos ($2) and a small drink ($1.39) for $3.88. Now that is a great value. But the best value Mike and I found today was the combos at 7-11! Below I have listed the two combos we bought.


Combo #1 consisted of one taquito, small slurpee, and a bag of chips. This passed the car cup holder test with flying colours. The slurpee had no trouble fitting in the cup holder, and the single taquito can easily be held between your thighs with no effort at all. Therefore we went one step further and did the lap test. As you can see above, everything fits on one lap. Me think Mike is packing another taquito in his pants ;) . The lone taquito in the package gets cool pretty quick. During our tests, we found that with only one taquito, it has only a hot-span of 5 1/2 minutes. Which means that it should be consumed right after you leave the store.

"Man this is Filling! I can do this every day. Oh my god! This tacquito is heavenly" - Mike Tuka

For just over a twoonie, I believe this is the best value in town. However, since the taquito is not very good at holding its heat, I must give it only 6 hot dogs out of a possible 10.





This combo cost $1 more than the last one. It includes an extra taquito and a larger drink. This meal is quite substantial. I was full after eating the whole deal. On the downside, this combo did not pass the lap nor the cupholder test. The drink did not seat fully into the cup holder, and these cup holders can hold supersized McDonald's cups! The drink does seat halfway into the holder for those who live their lives precariously on the edge. In our lab tests, we found that the taquito can be eaten up to 8 minutes after purchase. After 8 minutes, the taquito becomes bodytemp warm. As you can see below, I was uncomfortable with the notion of sticking something warm and full of gooey cheese in my mouth.



Since transportation was a hassle and coupled with the fact that you don't get much for the extra $1 paid, I'm afraid I have to award this combo 5 hot dogs.

Cleaning Out My Closet

Today I decided to do some cleaning and organizing before school starts. I cleaned out my desk, room, and closet. I had t-shirts cluttering my whole closet. Most of which I never wear. These shirts and I have gone through a lot. Such as the great depression of the late '90s, the gas war during the last decade, and creation of highspeed internet. Below are just two of many shirts that I had to throw away.

This shirt, pictured above, I consider my first designer shirt. I bought it for $20 at BootLegger. It was a navy blue Mossimo shirt with a parrot smoking a "J". It had a letter J at the end of the blunt. Its served me well over the years. I've worn it so much that the colour has been faded by the sun. In the pictures, it may look pretty bright, but I've played with the colours in photoshop to make them look good.

Pictured above is the "re-give a gift shirt;" made infamous by Prince William and Big Ja. This was a shirt given to Jon by Will and Rhonda for his 20th birthday. They bought him the shirt for $20. The day after his birthday, I swung by Jon's window at Res, "Hey Jon, what's up. Why ain'ts you wearing yer new shirt bro." Jon replied, "Dude. I hate it. This ain't my style bra." So I offered to take it off his hands, "I'll buy it from ya for 10 bucks." Jon agreed and that was the end of that.

Since Will nor Rhonda lived on res, they had no idea I've been wearing the shirt. 'Till the day we went over and celebrated Will's birthday over at his place. In my rush to find something to wear, I took the first item of clothing on top of my hamper. The shirt I picked up was the one that Jon had sold to me -- the one Will and/or Rhonda gave as a gift for his birthday.

As I walked merrily into their place with my tray of alcoholic jello shooters, my big fat stupid grin quickly turned into a quivering earthquake of a frown. I was shot dead in my tracks by Will and Rhonda's piercing stares. But after the shock had set in, both Will and Rhonda laughed the whole thing off, or at least I hope they did.

The shirt was great during that era, but now, it doesn't fit into my wardrobe.

Movie Review - Garden State

Starring: Zach Braff, Natalie Portman, Ian Holm, Geoffrey Arend
Directed by: Zach Braff
Produced by: Gary Gilbert, Dan Halsted, Pamela Abdy, Richard Klubeck

Yesterday, Brandon, Mike, and I went all the way to Langley to see this movie. Yep, you guessed it, we went to the Colossus! The place was so dead. There was no one in the bar upstairs. Although it would be nice one day go up there and kick back with a few cold ones before a flick. Below is a review I wrote for this movie.

Garden State is a beautifully directed cinematic love story. The characters are not seen in-depth, however, the vague characters add to the evolving mystery of the plot. Andrew Largeman, played by Zach Braff from Scrubs, is an emotional numb psycho freak who was misdiagnosed by his psychologist father. He began taking pills for anger mangenment since the age of 10. In the movie, it showed how Largeman rediscovered anger, sorrow, and love all over again.

Largeman’s love interest was Sam, played by Natalie Portman. Many of us may remember Portman from the resent Star Wars trilogy as Queen Amidala. Sorry Mike; but no relation to the famed Falco song -- Rock Me Amadeus.

In the movie, Sam was the polar opposite of Largeman. Despite their differences, they were able to forge an emotional, and then a physical bond. It was interesting to see, how they completed each other. An example was when Sam was teaching Largeman to be more playful, and Largeman explaining to Sam how everything in life shouldn’t be taken too seriously. This movie showed how two people of different personalities, were able to bond and create a relationship.



What I didn’t know about the movies was that Zack Braff was the one who wrote and directed the movie. Although, this is his major debut as a writer/director, Braff has directed acclaimed short films in the past.

Writing for Braff seems to be in his blood since his brother, Josh Braff, is a novelist. Josh Braff wrote the book "The Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Green."



This movie will take you through an emotional rollercoaster. One minute you’ll be crying, the next you’ll be laughing. The cinematic montages portray bad marijuana and ecstasy trips well quite well. The musical score adds and enhances the raw emotion felt in some scenes that no dialog or picture can accomplish.

Garden State is a great movie for those who are looking for a few laughs and an abstract love story. However, I do feel that most of you guys will find this movie boring due to the lack of toilet humor and gun violence. (8/10 Mickeys)