I’m sure many of you have seen the UPN show Dance 360. I’m a devoted fan of this show. Not only does the show feature hot, young “crunked” (combine Funk and Crazy) people and kickin’ music, it also highlights some of the best dancers in the greater Los Angles area. For those of you who haven't seen this wonderful show, 4 dancer compete in a ladder style tournament. 2 dancers are pited against each other with the winner decleared by a mocked up, tokenish Cheer-0-meter.

However, the good dancers I speak of are hard to come by; It appears that more bad than good dancers are showcased. It seems that a dance staple for most women is the Floor Phunk. Ladies, ya’ll know what I mean… ummmm MMMrrrrrm; it looks like you and a Pepsi can fell on the floor and you trying to get up but you end up failing right back down again, and again, and again. A move more exhausted than the Floor Phunk is the Booty Shake, sometimes refered to as the Booty Pounce. It’s similar to the Floor Phunk, but it is done in midair. Like an exorcism gone badly, it is sinful and riveting for the first few moments then vomit inducing there afterwards.

My dawgs! my bowys! I ain’t goin’ be easy on you. You guys need to stop all the poppin’ and crackin.’ That shit went old like the milk in your cereal from 1985. Alright alright, a pop and crack here and there can be pretty cool, I must admit. Also, the common break dance moves, such as the Two-Step and the Toprock, are getting really boring. Every other guy does them, which makes it just as popular as your mother *zing*.

Below I have provided you with a short clip of an episode that I have recorded. Your two contestant were Doc, dress in the work casual clothes, and Andy in his ethnic concealing African durag. How fitting for Andy since it was a desert storm camo durag.

In the Video below, Doc started off this battle with some spiced up Electric Boogaloo. Then went on to do the famed breakdance move: the Pompo then quickly transitioned to half a Windmill. He ended his set with nerd inspired Running Man.

Andy seemed reluctant to begin. Eventually he jumped in with a badly done rendition of the Strobe Probe. His pops and cracks are sadly replaced with the fluidity of his gangly arms. From there, Andy must have improv'ed the rest since it looked like the usual unchoreographed Ashley Simpson performace.

Sadly, as part of the battle, the two competitors must dance together for a head2head. That is where it got REALLY ugly. Doc did his trademark I Kicked You in the Head move and Andy went ahead and said Let's go Ride the Floor Train. Conceding to defeat from Doc's Worm, Andy walked off the floor with the Staggering Man. Doc won with a score of 8 over Andy's 7 on the Cheer-o-meter. It must have been rigged since the maximum score you can get is a 10 and I doubt any of their performances can justify more than a 5.

Nevertheless, Dance 360 is a good show regardles of the talent they have. It can be a good laugh somtimes.